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This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
【寫作技巧】
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章,就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容,分析常見的寫作錯誤,並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.

Unacceptable 不被認可的文章

“Climbing a rock wall is a physical challenge, but the greatest challenge is mental. Gravity works against every finger- and toe-hold—dragging down against every heroic effort to pull oneself up—meaning that arm, leg, and back muscles must be constantly working. Even with safety lines, muscle relaxation never really happens till the top is reached. Yet the mental exertion of a climb can be equally hard. Looking up or down a sheer cliff can be disorienting and a little scary. An experienced climber braces himself mentally before starting his climb.”

This snapshot of the rigors of climbing a rocky cliff manages to capture the intensity of the sport. Yet its language is weak. In the first sentence, the writer writes about the “greatest” of challenges. Because the list of challenges number only two, the proper comparative is “greater.” An effort to pull oneself up is termed “heroic;” in the absence of any information to consider it such, the word is inappropriate. Exertion is described as “hard,” when in fact it is a depletable asset that needs replenishing. What other weaknesses do you see in the writing?
這段文字概略形容攀岩的挑戰,努力呈現攀岩運動的激烈,不過遣詞用字卻不夠有力。第一句後半提到「greatest」(最大的)挑戰,不過這裡只列出兩種挑戰,所以比較級「greater」比較適切。文中又用「heroic」(英勇的)形容往上攀爬的動作,但缺乏佐證訊息,因此這種形容並不適當。另外,文中又以「hard」(艱困)形容所費的心力,但心力其實是種會耗費、必須補充的資產。你在文中還看到其他缺點嗎?

Acceptable 認可的文章

“Climbing a rock wall is a physical challenge, but the greater challenge is mental. Gravity works against every action of a climber—dragging down against his every effort to pull himself up—meaning that arm, leg, and torso muscles must be constantly tensed. Even with safety lines, muscle relaxation never really occurs on a climb. Yet the mental exertion of the climb can be even more taxing. Looking up—let alone down—a sheer cliff can be disorienting and somewhat frightening. An experienced climber always braces himself mentally before taking his first step.”

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