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This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
【寫作技巧】
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“Liaoning Province delivered up the remains of birds that flew around its skies more than a hundred million years ago. The birds were suffocated when ash filled the skies as area volcanoes erupted and their fallen bodies then were covered by the accumulating ash. The scientific findings in northeastern China were absolutely crucial to showing that birds and dinosaurs were related. Ornithologists had long speculated about there being a relationship, but never could prove it. The discoveries in Liaoning led the way to scientific acceptance of the relationship, and more bodies found later confirmed it.”
This piece of writing on the evolution of birds is loosely written. That is, it plays loosely with facts and with formal language. Consider one phrase: “… birds that flew around its skies more than a hundred million years ago.” Does that mean the birds avoided the ashy, sulfuric skies—flying “around” it—and, if so, why were they killed? Furthermore, how many “more” years than 100 million did they fly? Exactness is preferred, when possible. Why single out ornithologists more than, say, paleontologists? And scientists of any stripe don’t “speculate,” they study. All in all, the writing verges on glibness. A formal rewriting might save it.
這段文章討論鳥類的演化，寫作鬆散、事例舉證不夠嚴謹，遣詞用語不夠正式。例如下面這句：“… birds that flew around its skies more than a hundred million years ago”（一百多萬年以前，鳥類繞著天空飛翔），這句話的意思是，鳥類可以避開充滿塵埃與硫化物的天空嗎（「繞著」飛）？如果可以避開，牠們怎麼會因此而死？此外，一百「多」萬年前究竟是「多」幾年？訊息應該盡可能寫得精確。此外，為什麼特別強調鳥類學家的意見，而非其他學者的意見，例如古生物學家的意見？另外，不管是哪個領域的科學家，他們都不會只是 “speculate”「猜測」，他們會「研究」。整體而言，這段文章不夠嚴謹，需要改寫得更正式。
Acceptable 認可的文章
“Liaoning Province produced the remains of birds that flew its skies 125 million years ago. The birds apparently were first suffocated by ash during volcanic eruptions and then covered and preserved by the accumulating ash. The findings in northeastern China were crucial to establishing a link between birds and dinosaurs, which long was theorized but routinely was dismissed because of evidentiary weaknesses in the claim. The discoveries in Liaoning were the beginning of scientific acceptance of the relationship, with later evidence affirming it.”
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“Liaoning Province delivered up the remains of birds that flew around its skies more than a hundred million years ago. The birds were suffocated when ash filled the skies as area volcanoes erupted and their fallen bodies then were covered by the accumulating ash. The scientific findings in northeastern China were absolutely crucial to showing that birds and dinosaurs were related. Ornithologists had long speculated about there being a relationship, but never could prove it. The discoveries in Liaoning led the way to scientific acceptance of the relationship, and more bodies found later confirmed it.”
This piece of writing on the evolution of birds is loosely written. That is, it plays loosely with facts and with formal language. Consider one phrase: “… birds that flew around its skies more than a hundred million years ago.” Does that mean the birds avoided the ashy, sulfuric skies—flying “around” it—and, if so, why were they killed? Furthermore, how many “more” years than 100 million did they fly? Exactness is preferred, when possible. Why single out ornithologists more than, say, paleontologists? And scientists of any stripe don’t “speculate,” they study. All in all, the writing verges on glibness. A formal rewriting might save it.
這段文章討論鳥類的演化，寫作鬆散、事例舉證不夠嚴謹，遣詞用語不夠正式。例如下面這句：“… birds that flew around its skies more than a hundred million years ago”（一百多萬年以前，鳥類繞著天空飛翔），這句話的意思是，鳥類可以避開充滿塵埃與硫化物的天空嗎（「繞著」飛）？如果可以避開，牠們怎麼會因此而死？此外，一百「多」萬年前究竟是「多」幾年？訊息應該盡可能寫得精確。此外，為什麼特別強調鳥類學家的意見，而非其他學者的意見，例如古生物學家的意見？另外，不管是哪個領域的科學家，他們都不會只是 “speculate”「猜測」，他們會「研究」。整體而言，這段文章不夠嚴謹，需要改寫得更正式。
Acceptable 認可的文章
“Liaoning Province produced the remains of birds that flew its skies 125 million years ago. The birds apparently were first suffocated by ash during volcanic eruptions and then covered and preserved by the accumulating ash. The findings in northeastern China were crucial to establishing a link between birds and dinosaurs, which long was theorized but routinely was dismissed because of evidentiary weaknesses in the claim. The discoveries in Liaoning were the beginning of scientific acceptance of the relationship, with later evidence affirming it.”
