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十大簡潔英文準則一:謹慎用字
【學術專欄】
The best writing doesn’t waste words. It employs words efficiently. Recently our Facebook fans at TPS have been enjoying our new column Brevity: Valuing Each Word. For the past 4 months, we have asked fans to provide examples of brevity relevant to the Rule we were discussing for the week. Now that the 10 Ways to Shorten & Strengthen Your Academic Paper have been outlined, below we give you a recap of each Rule, as well as the correct answer and explanation to accompanying quiz question.
最佳的寫作,必須有效選用字句、惜字如金。TPS推出的新專欄競賽 「Brevity: Valuing Each Word簡潔準則:惜字如金」,請Facebook 粉絲寫出簡潔、流暢的詞彙/句子。經過數月的競賽後,已依序公布十大簡潔英文準則,在此集結題目、正確解答與解析刊登如下。

Rule # 1: Select words carefully … A trained academic writer succeeds by communicating thoughts succinctly, and word selection is key to success. In the underlined phrase in the sentence below, the writer did not select his words with brevity in mind. What word / words expresses the same thought more concisely?
十大簡潔英文準則一:謹慎用字
訓練有素的學術文章作者,能簡明扼要表達句意,成功的關鍵是選用適切的字詞。下列句子的畫線部分,表達並不俐落簡潔,用什麼字/字組取代後能更有效率地表達意思呢?

題目Contest Sentence:

“The baseball player ran all the way around the infield in the pouring rain after he hit the game-ending homer, failing to touch a single base.”

正確解答 Answer: “ran all the way around” replace with “circled.”

“The baseball player circled the infield in the pouring rain after he hit the game-ending homer, failing to touch a single base.”

We believe the best word choice is “circled.” Because the hitter splashed around the diamond in the rain, a fun choice might be “circumnavigated,” which often refers to circling via water. Either choice is superior to the wordy “ran all the way around.” That phrase not only is commonplace, it suffers from having an unnecessary modifying phrase in its midst—“all the way.” Unless otherwise specified, running around something implies running “all the way” around it.
題目中,最能準確表達畫線部分意義的答案,應為circled。除此之外,因為打擊者是在雨中繞著內野奔跑,所以也可以使用較活潑的circumnavigated一字,常意指於水面上環航。這兩個選擇比冗長的ran all the way around好,因為它過於通俗且包括贅述的修飾語all the way。除非需特別說明,對著某物 run around 通常已包括all the way 繞行的意思。

Sometimes extra words are necessary to convey import or distinction. For instance, were bases on a baseball diamond one mile from each other, to run “all the way” would be a notable feat for someone other than a dedicated runner. Using the phrase in that instance emphasizes the distance involved. And sometimes a longer expression is acceptable because it maintains or interrupts a written cadence and, thus, more expressly conveys a mood or thought. While this is less a consideration in academic writing than in literary writing, it is not to be dismissed as a communication tool.
有時傳達重要或區分不同意義時,必須多用幾個字來強調。比方說在棒球場內,壘包如果相距長達一哩,用all the way加以修飾,表示對非職業長跑者而言,跑這段路相當不簡單,也就是說,all the way在例子裡的用途是強調距離。有時拉長修飾語,可藉以維持或打斷句子的韻律,更明確地傳達作者的心情與思緒。儘管學術論文不比文學作品,這方面的考量較少,這種技巧仍然是有效且不容忽視的溝通工具。

Selecting correct words is, of course, rooted in corollary assets of clear writing, such as vocabulary and knowledge (thorough research). Nevertheless, wordsmiths with copious word lists at their command sometimes fail to select the best word. Knowing many words and knowing how to use them are not the same credential. Choosing a word that most accurately, effectively, and succinctly expresses an intended meaning is a skill that is teachable. Any writer blessed with judgment and a good work ethic can master this technique of concise writing.
選擇正確的用詞當然是為了寫作能清楚的表達,所需技巧包括足夠的字彙量與知識(可由研究取得)。不過就算腦中隨時記住大量字彙,也未必能做出最好的決定,因為知道許多字與知道如何使用這些字是兩回事。選出最正確、最有力、最能簡潔表達作者本意的字是可以學會的技能。任何具備判斷力且認真嚴謹的作者皆能掌握簡潔寫作的要領。


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